Questions from Peeps…

Eeesh…

“What does it feel like to know that your family and church community hate your lifestyle?”

Count on the strangest questions first I guess. LOL.

To answer your question though…

It sucks. Like a lot. The fact that my family is aware of it, to a certain degree, but hope and pray that it will go away or that I will choose not to follow it, hurts. But at the same time, I respect them for what they believe and standing up to it. I know how I feel inside about my situation(although I go back and forth all the time), but I know they don’t. I kinda wish sometimes I could man up enough to face my fears and stand up for one side or the other. Really soon I know that I’m going to have to seriously make a choice. But a lot of that will have to do with where and what I’m doing at the time. I’m honestly not 100% gay. I have nothing against girls. Nor do I find them NOT attractive. Who’s to say I won’t at some point find a girl that strikes my fancy. I know it’s not impossible because I know a few whom I’ve fallen deeply in love with before. Only time will tell.

As far as the question goes though…I know they love me. I know my friends from church love me. I see it. They only want what they believe is best for me…and unlike other people out there, they will respect whatever I decide to do with my life, as long as I am willing to live up to the consequences of it. If that makes sense. It sucks that if I do wind up with a guy, they will not be a part of our life. But then…I have an amazingly wonderful family I could not have been better blessed with. I’ve got “cousin’s” and “siblings” and “mothers” and “aunts” and even a few “dads” that I know…if I really needed, would be there for me as best they could. They’ve given me advice and love and attention with things I could not have made it to where I am today without. There’s no way I could ever repay them for all the love and encouragement that they provide to me on almost a daily basis. I’m nothing without them. They inspire me to be who I am today, and who I will be tomorrow. 🙂

 Love you guys. 🙂

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